We’ve all be told that it isn’t nice to laugh at other people’s misfortune at one point or another and told to empathize with them because after all it may be us one day with a clod of dirt up the nostril after be drilled into the ground by that cruel mistress Eris, Goddess of Discord and Chaos. But after a while, you just need to have a laugh to slough off at least a few of those heavy layers of other people’s suffering. You’re only human, after all, so stop trying to be a martyr carrying the woes of the world and laugh a little at other people’s suffering.
1. Let’s start this off with a real “softy” Get it? Because toilet paper is soft? I’m so clever.
2. Be sure to laugh at yourself too, otherwise the schadenfreude will “yo-yo” right back into your face and crack your nasal bridge.
3. Even when a person finds a way to punch their self in the face, it’s still cool to laugh since they really should have “saw it coming”. Guh, I’m just “floored” by how dumb that joke was.
4. Oh come on back, these puns aren’t so bad. Just “swing” on back around and we’ll have a laugh about falling together into the deep, murky abyss.
5. That last joke sucked. It’s like I tried to be funny by making a swing pun, but it just sort of “fell over” when I was playing with it.
6. BOOYAH! I lured you right into my clever trap!
7. Bet you weren’t expecting that were you? I bet it just came from behind and made a real…. splash?
8. My awful jokes are like this fella’s hat. You know it’ll be coming after I make yet another backflip to crowbar these jokes into a very flimsy premise.
9. How flimsy? Have a look here at these guy’s really trying to catch the third guy, to show that he can trust them. You’re like the faller, trusting that I can hold firm and keep this premise from collapsing into a heap of hurt feelings and head trauma.
10. Wow, that got weird fast. Maybe next time I shouldn’t “rock the boat” and drop the veil of my hideous pretentiousness?
11. Okay! Okay! I’ll stop! Just quit throwing miniature explosives at me!
BONUS ROUND: If this punster has offended, think but this and all is mended, that you have but suffered here while these bad jokes did appear. And this weak and lazy theme, no more lasting than a dream.